not quite as planned...

i just got out of the hospital.  i had to have emergency surgery on sunday.  its a long annoying story but i had to have a cyst removed.  it ended up testing positive for MRSA so my life has been a shitstorm (sorry but i couldn't think of any better term).  my mom is with me and ryan has been awesome in helping me through this.

i do have a wound vac.  it is weird and disturbing and i dont even want to think of it better yet, carry this thing around with me.

i mean, is this really happening to me?

this is the uncoolest of uncool, but i will get through this.

i will be returning to the blogosphere and work next tuesday. 

until then, i will be eating mass quantities of vicodin and laying on my arse.

i miss all of you and will still be blog stalking you i just dont feel up to posting.

i do swear that when i return it will be grins and giggles and no more downer posts, geez!

when it rains, it pours...

So as luck would have it, I have been home sick since my birthday.

I woke up feeling great, put on a nice birthday outfit, and headed out the door. I arrived at school, retrieved my students who were waiting anxiously for me in the cafeteria (perhaps more excited than I that it was my birthday). But as I was walking to my classroom I started feeling weird. Kind of dizzy, a little sweaty, and stomach cramps.

Hoping it would subside, I ignored it. It obviously did not like my disregard so it came at me with a vengeance. My best friend Christy told me she was coming by at 9:00 to bring the kids cupcakes. Right as she arrived at my classroom I told her I was feeling horribly sick and to watch them for a minute, the next thing I know I am puking in the trashcan by my desk. Real professional of me, I know.

This began the worst few days of my life thus far.

To top it off, I was on a nine year no puking streak. In fact, I can tell you the last time I was sick. It was alcohol related when I was 21, hanging out at Ryan and his roommates apartment with Christy. Let's just say it involved a beer bong.

So all weekend I had the worst intestinal virus. I even went to doctor on Saturday to make sure death was not imminent.

Just as I was turning the corner and starting to feel like myself again, I started having a weird pain on my back. It was worse on Sunday and so bad yesterday that I couldn't even sit or lay comfortably.

I went back to the doctor again and then a surgeon and had to have a cyst removed off my back. I will spare you the details but it is so extremely sore. They are packing it so it heals from the inside out, whatever that really means. Thank god for Lortab elixer or I wouldn't even be able to type right now.

During the appointment with the Surgeon he also told me that once this infection clears up, he wants to do a procedure in the OR to correct another Surgeons mistake from a similar surgery I had in 1997. I guess I will do it right at the beginning of summer to get it out of the way.

On a brighter note, yesterday I had solid foods!

As soon as this is all over, I am having a 30th unbirthday weekend!

Notes to Mom...

Because I am the **nicest teacher on the planet** I have my students make sweet letters for their Mom's on Mother's Day.

I was reading the rough drafts and they many of them were so funny that I had to exploit 10 of my students letters by posting them here. Enjoy!

* names changed for privacy

Dear Mom,

Thank you for getting me toys and cooking dinner. I am sorry for all of the bad things I have done. Thank you for making me a lot of healthy food and your tea. When I go to Florida I'm going to miss you very much. I am even sorry that you have to clean all by yourself when me and Bob are doing our homework. And if we get back early in the summer can we go swimming? I love you so much, Nicole p.s. Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mommy,

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for buying me stuff. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for buying us a new house, I like that there is three toilets and your shower is cool. I love you, Happy Mother's Day. Love, Neil

Dear Mom,

Thank you for buying me thangs (they often spell things, 'thangs'...I think it's funny). I will love you all the time even when I am at school. You are so nice. Thank you for feeding me. I will love you when I am bigger. I am sorry if I've ever been bad. Thank you for helping me when I was a baby. Thank you for caring for me my whole life. Love, Ana P.S. Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I love you Mom and not just because you give me toys. I love you because I love you. I hope this inspires you. I love you Mom. Happy Mother's Day Mom. Your Princess, Leeanne

Dear Grandma,

You are the best Grandma. You work very hard and take care of our family. You make our food. You make our blankets. You love me very much and I respect that. I love you too. Happy Mother's Day. Love, Stacie

Dear Mom,

I love you because you treat me right And you take care of me. Thank you for buying me thangs (I told you). I love you Mom. And I'll take care of you. Your my favorite memory. And happy Mother's day! Sincerely, your wonderful daughter, Heather

Dear Mommy,

Thank you for making me in this world. At Mother's Day we are going to cook for you and try to buy you flowers. Happy Mother's Day! Thank you for buying me a Wii and food and gallons of water. I love you very very very very very very much. Love, Michael P.S. Thank you very much for being a good Mom.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all that you have done for me and taking care of me everyday! Without you I would be nothing. Thank you for all of your love and support. Thank you for having birth to me. Thank you so much. Love, Sam P.S. Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I love you and I want you to stay more longer (when asked what he meant by this, he told me "to not die" - and as far as I know, she isn't sick or anything). Thank you for all you have done. I love you. You work very hard for me, Matt, and Bobby. You are very important to me. I love you. Happy Mother's Day. Love, Jack

Dear Mommy,

Thank you for the support. You are valuable to me (BTW- that is one of our vocabulary words). Thank you for giving me the power to learn and do my homework. Thank you for giving birth to me and life. I love you very much. Nothing can stop me from loving you. If you had died I would cry every day. You are a shining star to me. Roses are red, violets are blue, you are cool and funny too. Happy Mother's Day. Love, Faith

(**side note: I tell my students this every day subliminally. It is really cute because I will say, I want you to be the smartest kids in 2nd grade, so since I am the nicest teacher on the planet, I am giving you a test just to make sure. They totally buy it, to the point to where all I have to say is, "Since I am"...and they will finish the sentence in unison--- "the nicest teacher on the planet". Once a parent even told me, my child really loves you. She even tells me you are the nicest teacher in the universe. In my head I am thinking...Wow, I wonder where she got that. But it works. Some of you Moms may want to try it out on your own kids. It works for anything.**)

So, Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there. I know it is Mom's Day everyday in your home...but you should enjoy this one shout out you get all year. Tomorrow there will be poop and spit up or throw up or tears that you need to wipe and probably without much thanks.

the big three oh

There I've said it.

Most of you probably figured anyway.

Happy Birthday to me.

Yesterday was my birthday and it was horrible. I must have a stomach virus or something because the day started with me throwing up in front of my students. Not good, even though they were pretty fascinated by the whole thing. I didn't eat anything, no cake, no dinner, and had to cancel plans with friends.

We are going to give it another shot today.

The Name Game

Something funny today....

A student walked up to me and said...."So, Ms. B, Did you know who I am named after?"

After a pause, I said, "No, Who?"

He said, "Nickolas Cage"

Of course, I said, "Wow, that is really cool!"

And then he replied, "It was kind of my Dad's idea, he loves his acting."

Too cute.

Why Can't I Be More Discreet With My Camera Phone?

When I was in Vegas a few weeks back I was in the hotel elevator with Ryan and a girl stepped in holding an empty cocktail glass and holding her 4 inch heels.

I didn't think much of it, but it kind of seemed like she was doing the night after walk of shame.

Right before we came out of the elevator for the lobby/casino she started to put her shoes on and I noticed tattooed in script on the top of both her feet....

"God's favorite"

I wish I could have gotten a picture, but it would have been too obvious with just the three of us.

I bet God was proud. Thankfully she is his favorite because I can't handle that much pressure.

Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo

Ryan came across this for me on the internet.

I think i am going to need to gift this to myself (if only it was 1985).

Make note how the first review says that one perk of the item is that the box is big enough to cut down and breakdance on!

I love it!!!