2 more days until winter break freedom!

Today one of the kids in my class asked me to start calling her 'Bella'.  I didn't think much of it because kids are funny like that.

But then she asked me if I knew "Edward" and it all came to me.

She then told me that she was Team Edward and that she liked him.

Then she said, "Hold on tight Spidermonkey!" and ran off.

Kids are weird and the twilight craze is freaking me out a bit.

nothing too new to report...

I am finally settled in our apartment...only now we have to start thinking about what's next. Our temporary lease is almost up.

My best friend got married this weekend. I am so happy for her. The wedding weekend was awesome but we partied like we were 18 again, which we obviously aren't. I am crazy tired today. I considered sleeping during my kids lunch today, but didn't for fear that I wouldn't wake. Don't we look cute?



I just opened a subpoena to appear in court as a witness on an assault charge. The real problem is that they want me to appear in court from Dec. 14th to the 18th...which is the last week of school before Christmas. Another huge issue is that the charge is against a family member. I don't want to be involved in this. Why am I being punished because other people make crappy decisions. I am sure it will all work out.

Ryan just came in the room with a black light that he purchased at Lowe's to detect if the dogs have been peeing in our house. Am I the only one who thinks this is hilarious? He is taking to forensics to bust our animals. Too funny.

And I was really on a roll there for a while...

Well, we closed on our house and the house we were supposed to get fell through (freaking realtors!) so I am an apartment dweller again.

I like it. We are living around Southwest Austin and everything is at our fingertips and I love it.

We are waiting on a short sale in Pflugerville but it may fall through. I don't really know if I care or not. I like the house in Pflugerville, but the name of that city annoys me. And the pfact that they put a pf on everything like the Pflugerville Pfall Pfestival makes me want to gag. Maybe it's something I'll adapt to (probably not).

Hmmm, I moved, packed, unpacked, worked, etc.

That's where I've been.

I am still hoping to get to 100 posts this year.

I need to get back in the swing of things. And I am looking forward to normalcy again.

What makes a house a home?

Blogging about my house issues made me feel better yesterday. Today as I was driving to work I was thinking about how blogging can be so therapeutic to me. Sometimes I wonder if I just use this as an outlet to bitch. But who cares? It's my blog and often I feel like I can say things on here that I can't say in 'real life'.

I am feeling so sad today. I have never felt so scared in my life. Except once.

When I was about 20 I remember coming home to my parents house in Corpus Christi from college in Austin and having an epiphany. I can't remember what triggered it or how the emotions came on. But I vividly remember that Sunday as I was packing up for the drive back to Austin. I had this sadness pass over me. I realized that my parents home did not feel like home to me anymore. It wasn't anything they had said or done, and if I had even an idea of moving back they would have jumped at the chance (and even today they still would). But up until that point I would always say to friends or family, "I am going home for the weekend to visit my parents."

That particular weekend visiting 'home' didn't feel like home to me anymore. It probably hadn't for a short while, and it just took me that moment to realize it. I was so upset. I remember crying to my parents and them kind of laughing and joking and my Mom tearing up. I didn't know how to put it into words until later that I felt a loss of my youth. This was it, this was adulthood. I had to create the home I wanted from here on out. I was scared to have so much responsibility, and I remember being freaked out that people trusted me to make major life decisions. I can truly remember watching my parents wave their goodbyes as we drove out of the driveway. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It got better of course, and I remember watching the movie "Garden State" a year or so later and Zach Braff's character experiencing something very similar. I guess we all go through that rite of passage.

Today I am feeling the same emotions. I never thought that finding a home would be such an experience. When we bought our first home we were just so excited and we didn't fret over the little things. We closed on our home the week we got married, three days before our wedding. We didn't even have a list of must haves... except a bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom would have been nice. We didn't care where we lived or even think much of it. We love our house so much and it was so much more than we thought we could ever have, even though we have outgrown its 1128 square feet.

This time has been so different. It isn't even the list of things I won't compromise on...it's other things. When I walk into these houses (and to give you an idea we saw 26 houses on Friday...twenty-six and I am not exaggerating). When I step into the door I try to picture myself living there, cooking in the kitchen, cuddling in the bedroom, taking a bath, doing laundry, celebrating holidays. I think of the pictures we may take, the memories that might occur. I wonder if this will be where we have our first child? Will our dogs outlive our time in this house? Will our parent's outlive our time in this house? How will we look and change from now until we leave here? What legacy will become of this home?

This is a lot of pressure (especially for my realtor). I guess most people just pick a place and don't worry about all the details. I wish it were simpler for me. I wish that when I was incredibly excited to put my home on the market I prepared myself for what it would be like when it did sell.

I know it will all work out. I remember that one of the things that made me feel better about that revelation of growing older and losing the 'home' that I knew and trusted was Ryan. I remember that when I was with him I felt safe and excited about being an adult and making decisions and our scary uncertain future.

No matter what the world may bring, he always makes me feel like I am home.

In case your wondering where I've been....

I have been somewhere between a nightmare and real estate hell...

Seriously, I am tense and feel sick to my stomach. We sold our house about a month ago and all was well. I was worried of course because we hadn't yet found a new place. Everyone was calm and happy and laughing and jovial and wondering what in the world I was so worried about because our closing was November 9th.

Well, November 9th is a hop, skip and a jump away and we still don't have a house. So I may be a squatter or have to join the teens on 6th street. I am at a about a level 5 freakout today because there was a house I desperately wanted and I had to watch as it painfully slipped from my fingertips.

Personally I think that some realtors are sleazy, and I know that not all of them are. But in reality I am just not used to the high stress environment of real estate. But with so much money at stake you really have to wonder whose interest is at work here.

So I have had to surrender my blogging and stalking time to hours of looking through the MLS listings and praying for a miracle. God, Jesus, Oprah...make something happen. PLEASE!

busy, busy, busy...

I have been super busy lately. It's been one of those times when you barely get a minute to stop and think about anything, and if I do get a minute I'm too tired and lazy to do anything about it.

We may have sold our house. Just putting that out there terrifies me. I don't want to jinx anything and by even putting this on the interweb I just know the deal will fall through. I'm being overly cautious and don't trust people, especially in this market. I've had a lot of drama lately about taking financial advice from a family member and it pretty much screwing me over. It's a long elaborate story and no one meant any harm, but it has become a huge mess. A mess that may lead to an alcholic slumber of a weekend. I honestly just want to move on from it. Everything will work out, I know it will (fingers crossed).

My best friend is getting married in like 3 months and I have a crap ton of planning to do in preparation. Hosting a shower (do people even like shower games because I think they're lame?), hosting a bachelorette (the one celebration I am really really really looking forward to) as she has it coming from my bachelorette party - let's just say a gift I received had the word "classic" and "dong" in the title, so she may be getting "the fist" and I'm serious (google it if you dare). Then she can worry about what she is going to do if she is in some tragic accident and her parents come across it while cleaning out her things.

I guess that's about it. My dentist's office really pissed me off today. They are lucky I haven't set fire to their office. It appears to be a trend that they are flaky and unreliable.

Oh yeah, and I have at least one child in my class that more than likely has H1N1. I have a feeling they are going to start dropping like flies next week. I am trying my hardest to vigilantly wash my hands. It would really just top off my year to not have only suffered from staph in 2009, but also from the swine flu.

As long as I don't get it the week of that bachelorette party....

I should have went to Target... (long but worth reading)

What a weird day...

It all began with Ryan dropping me off at school (he had the day off) so he could take my car to the dealership for an oil change (the freaking Volkswagon dealership can't have convenient hours). Anyway, I couldn't get into the building because I forgot my keys in my classroom.

I should have turned around at that point and just left...it was a sign!

So the day started out with a child crying because he missed his Mom. I can understand, sometimes I miss my Mom too...only I don't get to see her afterschool or even every month. I was able to get him calm, crisis diverted. It was a child's birthday so I got him squared away with a crown and an It's my Birthday! sticker (kids love birthday attention --- who am I kidding? Don't we all! I will send you one on your birthday if you email me your address and birthday, seriously).

Next issue: I broke the copier. I don't know how, I was making just your basic copy and the machine started growling at me. The secretary opened it and a part actually fell out. Just great! So much for not working late tomorrow. Move on, and I mean really move on before other teachers see that I was the last to use it and I get glares since this one is seems like it's actually going to need a repairman.

No big deal, right? I can handle this. You're not going to get me cruel day!

So now it is finally recess (a mental break not only for the kids by the way) and a child is waiting in 'think time' for misbehaving (it happens to the best of us) and he starts walking to me weirdly. And by weirdly I mean he is walking with his legs like 3 feet apart and then he says it: "Mrs. B I wenttotherestroominmypants" "Huh?" "Can you say that again slowly sweetie?" Pause "I-went-to-the-restroom-in-my-pants" I look at the teacher next to me on the park bench. So I ask him if he went number one or number 2 and he says "I pooped in my pants"

Hmmm....I don't really know what to do, they didn't teach me this in college, this never happened when I taught 2nd grade. I can't just leave the students on the playground again like I did last week when a child fell on his nose and bled everywhere (for the record another teacher volunteered to stay with my students that day because blood was seriously everywhere --- turns out his grandma told me he is a nose bleeder, I have never met one of those). So I did what all teachers do, sent him to the nurse. God bless school nurses. I am sending a shout out right now to all school nurses, thank you from the bottom of my beating heart. I sent another child to go with him (someone I could trust to keep it a secret and not use it against this poor kid). He didn't seem to have a clue anyway. I must say it was pretty cute to see them walking off hand in hand with one doing a "poop walk".

You might think it ends there...it doesn't. You read my title, didn't you?

So Ryan picks me up from school and we have a relaxing dinner at a tex-mex restaurant. I even passed up alcohol, which was a shocker to even myself on a day such as this. Who am I kidding? It was a shocker even for an average day. After dinner he told me we needed to stop by WalMart for something. I asked if he could just go tomorrow, but he insisted we go tonight. Fine. It was early anyway.

As we are pulling into the WalMart parking lot there is a truck blocking us from going any further. The next thing I know a male is approaching the truck and the driver of the truck gets out and grabs a machete (I am not exaggerating an actual machete...who has those and carries them around?) and he puts the machete behind his back like hiding it. Well, me being the teacher I am I jump out and say (seriously) "NO FIGHTING! HEY, NO FIGHTING BOYS!" (only I said it really authoritatively, but still pretty funny that this is my go-to language). The truck driver then moves the knife as if to threaten or hurt the other guy and I scream..."THAT'S IT I AM CALLING 911 YOU BETTER CUT IT OUT!" Ryan jumps out of the car but stays by our car door and grabs his phone. I immediately call 911 and I am frantically telling the representative that they need to get an officer at the WalMart parking lot because I think these two men are going to kill each other! Of course the person is making me tell them everything and I am still yelling at the guys to stop and hoping Ryan doesn't try to step in and get involved. The truck driver then throws his machete back into his truck and then pushes the other guy and that was it...they were in a full blown fight. It only took a minute before they were both bloody and by now there is a crowd of about 20 watching or walking away and I can't make too much sense about what's going on because the 911 operator is talking my ear off and telling me not to yell at the men. Ryan says that they will get tired eventually and stop. The fight lasted about 5 full minutes of punching and hitting and it was insane. The police arrived right away (which I wasn't too surprised about - we were in South Austin and I can imagine there are cops patroling everywhere around I-35 and Ben White). 911 tells me not to leave and to tell the police that the assailant has a weapon. The cops come, I give a statement and so does Ryan. We are the witnesses who saw the entire scenario. The other guy left the scene of the crime and they arrest the truck driver. The cop who interviewed me was nice and told me it was just another night at WalMart.

As we are walking in to get wiper blades for Ryan the manager tells us the fight was over a parking space. A PARKING SPACE! I would never pull a knife on someone for a parking space, that is just crazy. He is going to feel like such an ass tomorrow when his rage subsides and he has fines and court all over a freaking parking space at WalMart.

I am so glad this day is over.

Thank God it's Friday tomorrow!

I prefer to worship God by sleeping in on Sundays...

One of the kids in my class told me that he was worried about God punishing another child in our class for misbehaving.

He was very upset and told me that his Grandma told him that God punishes people who disobey.

I overheard him telling the child, God can be really mean that's what Grandma told me.

Hmm...I wonder what they were fighting over?

I need to have a specific title for these posts. Perhaps "An actual conversation I had today" would be appropriate except I didn't have this conversation today but a few days ago. Its not like I could forget it though.

Child: Mrs. B did you meet my Mammy before she went up to the clouds?
Me: No I never had a chance to meet her, what was she like?
Child: You know she is in the sky right? She is in Heaven.
Me: I bet you miss her so much. She seemed like she was wonderful.
Child: Did you know I have an Auntie?
Me: No I didn't, what's her name?
Child: Well she used to be my Uncle but then she had a surgery and now she is my Auntie.
Me: Well that's interesting.
Child: Last Christmas my other uncle got mad at my Auntie and punched her right in the face.
Me: I am glad she is feeling better. Okay let's get ready for lunch.

Kindergarten madness...

Well I survived my first week back and school and barely scraped by on this 2nd week.

Let's just say that I had an emotional breakdown after school on my first day.

I knew it was coming on and then someone asked me how my day went and I lost it. I mean completely broke down, the "ugly cry". Of course I left the "Surviving the First Day" party and went to my classroom to feel sorry for myself. People of course heard the news (word travels fast on a school campus between not only students) and filed in my room for words of wisdom and hope. I didn't believe any of them.

But it is getting better.

I have already gotten a cold and survived a child who projectile vomited so I would say we're off to a good start.

Man do I have some stories to share with you though. It will have to wait as I am trying to enjoy my last minute of summer on this Labor Day.

crazy tired...

I have had tons of things to blog about but no time.

I will update this week.

I couldn't come up with any appropriate titles for this one...

The other night I went out to 6th Street with some friends. I know...6th Street...the only place other than Bourbon Street where the party never seems to end. I have lived in Austin for over 10 years but the friend whose birthday we were celebrating is relatively new to the city. So of course she is mesmerized by the whole 6th Street thing.

My best friend Christy is one of the coolest, craziest people you will ever meet. I feel very confident in saying that. She does as she wants when she pleases no matter how insane. It is one of the things I love most about her. It was her idea to go bar hopping so that the birthday girl can hit up as many bars as possible to get free shots at each bar for her b-day. Meanwhile, Christy is having a few shots but mostly beer. So it was one drink at each bar and then we keep moving.

At one point we were leaving a bar and a guy was like "Hey! You dropped something." I didn't know he was talking to me. He then runs up behind me and said, "I think you dropped this." And then we both looked at it at the same time and he smiled. I didn't. I said "It's not mine, but I know who it belongs to thanks." To which he replied "Yeah, sure...hahahahahaha"

It was a beer koozie (Christy's of course) and this is what it looks like:

People are annoying...

Okay, so I can't believe I am actually going to share this story since I should probably be ashamed. But I am not (ashamed) so I will (share).

This past weekend in addition to our trip to Houston we went to the Kemah Boardwalk. It is this super cute place. There are carnival amusement park rides and restaurants and boat tours, etc. Here are pictures...





So, I decide to face my fear of falling to my death and go on the Kemah Tower ride with Ryan. It is a pretty tame ride, you just go up in a round, well tower looking thing (here's a picture).



Before getting on the ride we discover you must buy tickets. Well, we're there on a Friday night and the place is packed and the ticket line is a little long. Not too bad, but a 15 min. wait or so.

As we are winding our way to the front of the ticket line a man is kind of making a production that he needs to get up to meet with his family or people he has closer to the front of the line. Fine, right? No big deal...let the man get to his family or friends or whatever.

Minutes pass...we are waiting, Ryan is annoyed because he hates crowds of people. Kids are crying and fussing, you know the drill.

Then a lady comes up behind Ryan and is annoyed because he doesn't realize she is trying to get by and he doesn't hear her. She kind of huffs and puffs by gets by the line of people. She obviously is trying to get to her family also. So now we are finally getting closer and there is a couple holding up one of the ticket booth cashiers, they can't decide or something... I don't know what the issue is, but now I don't care because a ticket person is ready for me.

So now I am ordering our tickets for the Kemah Tower and I realize that the couple holding up part of the line is the man and woman who separately cut in line to get in front of everyone. What? Those dicks! Who does that! The ultimate line cutting scam (who even thinks of this!) Ugh, I was so annoyed and I told Ryan..."hey, it's that man and that lady together!...they scammed all of us and cut in line!!!" Of course, Ryan is cool and calm and says..."Who cares, just ignore them."

Here is where the story gets interesting. So I am staring them down...they are right next to us and their total is like $41.08 or something for two all night passes and the guy gives the person $40 and then the girl says "Sir, it is $41.08" and so he pulls out --- and I am not kidding a giant wad of cash (who carries cash around anymore?) and he finds a $1 and is like well I don't have any change. He does the old grab the pocket and shrugs his shoulder manuver. So the cashier is looking at him confused (probably thinking like I am ---break a freaking $20 or something you weirdo) and he is telling her he still doesn't have any change. This is an uncomfortable few minutes and the lady he's with (you know the one that was rude to Ryan) is annoyed and she looks at me getting our change from the $10 we just paid with and asks us for the 8 cents. Is she insane? I practically want to strangle her. Ryan kind of grabs my arm gently to lead me towards the ride and I tell her this:

"NO! I am not giving you the money because you cut in front of me in line and that was rude."

Classic junior high...perhaps even elementary school response. And to think I am a teacher who has a rule that no one can complain that anyone is cutting in line because I don't want to hear it.

Ryan was so pissed that I just didn't ignore them (he has this whole thing that he worries I am going to piss someone off some day and it is going to lead to him getting into an altercation). I honestly could not stop myself, it would have annoyed me all night.

But I must say I was a little paranoid that they were going to end up sitting next to us in a restaurant or on the ride.

H-town

Ryan and I spent the last few days in Houston for a mini-vacation.

We left on Thursday and got home early Sunday morning (2am).

I was so tired yesterday.

We went to the Houston Galleria and had some good food and spent some quality time together. It was nice.

On Saturday night we went to the Green Day concert in downtown Houston. It was a bit funny to me that Billie Joe of Green Day was like "eff the establishment" and "screw capitalism" and "break your televisions and fuck commericalism" because he must not have realized that this commerical is on like 100 times a day.



All in all it was a really great show and at the end they released confetti over the crowd just like in the American Idiot tour. I love that whole snow effect. The people in seats really miss out, I would be bummed to not have general admission floor tickets.

Dental Hygiene

Today I took the first step in overcoming my fear of the dentist.

I was frustrated because a few months ago I tried making an appointment and they called a day before my cleaning and cavity treatment to tell me that I had to reschedule. This was after I had scheduled for a substitute to come and wrote lesson plans for the following day. Her exact words "We lost a hygienist and need to reschedule you." What? How do you lose a hygienist? Do you know where you left her? Ugh, annoying.

But I let my boycott go on too long and felt a horrible toothache on the horizon. I called yesterday to make an appointment and they told me they couldn't see me until mid September. I considered throwing the phone, but instead I politely asked if they could send my films to another dentist as soon as I found one to take me. She put me on hold and then came back to let me know a miracle had occured. She would be able to fit me in today at 8am with the dentist and 9:15 with the hygienist.

I did embarrassingly scream loud when she snuck in a shot near the front of my mouth. I couldn't believe I had done that. I just knew my face was red. I immediately said sorry and told the patrons in the rooms around me that I was sorry if I scared anyone and it really wasn't too bad. The assistant started laughing. I don't think they were prepared for me.

I survived. The hygienist was cute and sweet, and gentle. I think we should all appreciate medical professionals being easy on the eyes. It just makes things better. I am sure he thought I was just adorable with drool running down my face, blood on the front of my shirt from jumping during the shot, my eyes constantly watering, coughing because I hate that sucker thing, and asking to go to the bathroom twice during treatment.

Did I mention I look like I had a stroke with the left part of my face all saggy from the 7 injections of novacaine. Which leads me to the Whole Foods trip I took afterwards to purchase soup. But I will have to save that story for later. This whole adventure is tempting me to overdose on vicodin and catch up on Oprah.

beauty blowout...

I have spent more money at Ulta this summer than I care to calculate.

Can someone tell the advertisers to please stop sending me the Ulta circulars? The $3.50 coupon you send me is not helping to curtail the damage I am doing.

I know the drill, they send me the coupon, all the while I tell myself that I am just going to get one thing. I get there, look around for the item or two I set out for (from the advertisement of course), but then it always happens.

I get sidetracked by a sweet salesgirl who seems bored and wants to do a demo on me. For some reason I can't say no..."Sure, I will try that new product."

"Oh really, erase paste to help my tired eyes look bright and fresh as the day I turned 20?"

It's only $26, chump change if you consider how it is going to refresh my look and practically change my life.

Do you see where I am going with this? Someone needs to stop me, especially considering I rarely even wear makeup.

And I don't even want to divulge how much lip gloss I have (see above picture). Burt's Bee's, Clinique, Estee Lauder, Gap lip balm, Blistex, Carmex, and even the new Yankee Candle lip balm.

See how they suck me in? I just noticed that with every online order you get to choose 3 free samples. Damn it Ulta, you're killing me.

Breaking News...

Yesterday I was called in for a meeting with my Principal.

Hmmm...that usually doesn't turn out great for most people (especially in grade school years).

I worried about it a little all day yesterday. His secretary gave me the option of going this morning or this afternoon.

I kind of double booked myself because I also had an appt. this morning, but I couldn't wait all day to find out the scoop on what he wanted me to talk about. So I just showed up to the meeting 30 min early.

I wasn't that surpised to find out the news, I kind of thought in the back of my head that it could be an option. Even though I was assured at the end of last year that it wasn't.

I am not going to be teaching 2nd grade next year....instead I will be teaching Kindergarten.

I am kind of nervous, and kind of excited, and kind of annoyed that I am finding this out 3 1/2 weeks before school starts.

Basically they needed an extra bilingual 2nd grade teacher so they were going to move one up from kinder to 2nd, but then 2nd grade would be spread pretty thin and kinder would have an opening...so it made perfect sense.

I wonder what kind of adventures this is going to lead me to.

I Put the Party in PCOS...

So, I was recently diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which is really more of a cluster of symptoms than an actual disease. Thankfully I don't suffer from most of the symptoms, but enough for it to be annoying.

Anyway, in dealing with all of this I have learned a thing or two. First of all, I feel uncomfortable to publicly seek a 2nd opinion. I have managed to go around my gyno's back and book an appointment with a specialist, well 2 actually. There are only 3 here in Austin who are considered "specialized" and one is super hard to get in with. In fact I won't be able to see her until the beginning/middle of October. Thankfully this illness isn't life threatening. So in the meantime I made an appt. to see another one of the three doctors here.

I don't know why I am embarrassed to just tell her. I mean, what does she really care? It's my lady parts that are affected.

Oh, and now the specialists office wants my doctor to send some of my information and lab work to them, meaning I have to grow a pair and tell them. Am I that afraid of confrontation? I have actually considered having my Mom or best friend call for me. I am such a baby.

I also have picked up some of the reading material on the syndrome at Borders. It was an uncomfortable moment when I parked myself down on the carpet in the Health section/Women's Issues bookcase and a woman came to the section and looked at me with assuring eyes. That's the only way I can describe them. I was kind of embarrassed like I was looking at sex books or something. Knowing me, she probably didn't look that way at all and I was just being paranoid. I even thought about telling her the book wasn't for me. I am so weird.

Sidenote: Kate Gosselin from Jon and Kate plus too many freakin' kids has PCOS. I told Ryan that there is no way we are having 8 children. I don't see the TLC network knocking on my door anytime soon.

old friends, good times...

This weekend I hung out with my best friend Christy and old friend from high school named Rose.



We had such a good time. We have seen each other off and on a few times since she moved to Austin. But, you know how things go. People get busy and so on.



We made a committment to hang out together more. Today we are going to have lunch and watch a movie.



I love those friends that you can just pick back up with like time never separated you. I really love that.

actual conversation i had on thursday...

sewing instructor: no, you don't do it that, way....you do it like...
me: oh sorry
sewing instructor: no, no, hang on...im confused, are you right or left handed?
me: kind of both
sewing instructor: huh?
me: (and because I never can just give the short version of any story) well, i was born a lefty then broke my arm during an important time of tactile learning, so i had to learn to be right handed, but i am still left handed dominant. now i kind of use both...i would say i am a bit ambidextrous. my mom was happy i broke my arm because she thought left handed people grow up to be crazy
sewing instructor: well, that is interesting (probably thinking that would shut me up)
me: yeah, it is and probably the source of many problems in my life
(chuckling of other students)

How the times have changed.

Technology. Ah, you evil little devil.

While on vacation last week I didn't have internet access all week (our condo didn't have wifi WTF?). During this time of suffering I realized that I am quite the crabby cake without internet access. Oh and did I mention that I forgot my cell phone charger? It was like hell on earth.

The real question for me lately is Mac or Pc?

I have both, but am constantly torn as to which one I prefer more.

These are the things that keep me up at night.

Sew Much To Do...

	Tonight I have a sewing class at the Stitch Lab. It seems like I registered for it months ago. How time flies. I am a little nervous but I am not sure why. I think sewing and crafting gets a bad rep because there is so much crap out there. But trust me, there is a lot of cool things too. I think it is refreshing to make something on your own. It unleashes something in you. I have a lot to do to get ready for my class. I need to oil my machine, make bobbins with the thread I am using, organize my kit, check my supply list, and load everything into my car. Finally...I need to decide which fabric I am going to use for my project. Did I mention that the class is on handbags and totes? Everyone I love can surely expect a handbag or tote for Christmas this year, guaranteed.

We put the dysfunctional in family....

(for the record, I had to type dysfunctional about four times before I could decide if it looked right..What is my problem these days?)

So I am back from my family vacation. For the first three days we visited my side of the family in Corpus Christi and for the last six we stayed with Ryan's family in Rockport.

Surprisingly, no one got strangled or stabbed. Okay, just kidding. But it isn't a family vacation without a little drama right? Thankfully none of it really occurred until the last day.

We must have met the allotment of time family can spend together in one week.

All in all it was good times, though a bit boring at certain intervals. In the first tour of the trip my sister and I even managed to set aside our differences and be nice to each other.

My nieces and nephews are getting so big. My brother's son is like a man. I bet he even has body hair, which is just weird for me. Seeing babies grow and become ladies and gents is just freaky. They still seem so small to me. I cannot imagine what it is like for parents when their children become adults.

I just realized that I only have about five weeks of summer left. I was hoping that I would have completed at least half of my summer list by now, but I have not. It has been a bit limiting that I am still dealing with my wound. I cannot wait until I don't have to rely on people for help in that area. Cue the independent women song or something.

Alright. I better do something productive today.

Summer Vacation...

Im just now updating because I have been without computer access for days now.

Im on the Texas Gulf Coast trying to max and relax with large amounts of sunscreen to deter premature aging.

I will return to the blogosphere next week!

I Survived.

Obviously. I mustered up the courage and endured my appointment this morning.

I even managed not to babble uncontrollably or embarrass myself. So it was a success.

I asked about pregnancy and she was confident that nature will run its course when the time is right.

All that worry for nothing. I worry just to worry. This obviously needs to be addressed.

Nervous...

Tomorrow is the big day. I have my gyno appt. And while most of you probably could care less about my lady parts, we all know I threw tact out the door months ago.

In light of tomorrow's appointment I have some grooming to tend to.

Honestly. I even made a list.

• Bleach armhair (check)

Don't judge. I think dark arm hair looks gross on me. I am pasty white enough, the illusion of super blonde hair gives the illusion of a tan. A tan I desperately need but can't sacrifice the fear of skin cancer or wrinkles.

Anyway, back to the list.

• Trim unmentionables (I can't very well go in looking all chia pet, or shall I say bushy)
• Shave my legs (you know, really shave them, not just the part people can't see and your husband doesn't care about in the heat of the moment)
• Re-paint toenails
• Write my list of questions
• Pick out a cute outfit, and respectable underwear
• Decide the ever important question...Socks or No Socks?

Am I the only one who does this?

Anyone? Anyone?

You think I would keep up with such grooming all the time. I mean a have a husband for petes sake who would probably appreciate such upkeep. I take care of my own, but there is a special grooming that I do for myself before I see the lady parts doctor, even if just for my own compulsiveness.

I don't even know why I freak myself out so much. I mean she sees va-jay-jays all day long, like she really cares about me or mine. It only takes a few minutes, she's in and out, etc.

I made a list of questions for tomorrow so I don't forget and babble about god knows what. My plan is to stay focused and calm. As calm as can be considering I am going to ask her about clearing the cobwebs off my fallopian tubes and ovaries so we can consider getting this babymaker up and running at some point in time.

Now that school is out and I have been away from the chaos that is 18 children demanding your attention I can consider bringing a child into my life. Thankfully I am going to talk to the doctor before going on vacation with my sister-in-laws and their broods of children. After a week with them I could very well change my mind. I see the tired looks in their eyes, the baby gear that even one child requires, the lack of sleep, and sometimes loss of control. Being a Mom is hard work. Don't get me wrong, I love and adore children. They are tiny blessings and so forth, but so is my clean house and sanity. I know in the end, it is all worth it.

Cabin Fever...

Yesterday we lost power for about 4 hours. I seriously thought I was going to die of boredom. Which lead me to believe I have been watching more television than I care to admit. I called Ryan at work and he told me to read a book or clean or something. Nothing on my to do list sounded fun.

I think I need to go on one of those vacations where you live off the grid for a while. I was hot, complaining, and the only thing I could think of was to sleep.

This cabin fever is starting to give me anxiety. I need a summer hobby before I become seriously agoraphobic.

I am going on vacation towards the end of this week with my in-laws. I hope it is enjoyable. I need a break from being bored.

religious creepy on a whole new level...

YIKES!

Oh. My. Goodness.

Have you seen these?

Who doesn't want a bathing suit with the tagline: "Highlights your face, not your body"?

This is hilarious. I would like to think that Jesus is not judging me based on what I wear to the lake or the pool or tubing on the river.

On the other hand, maybe I should consider these bathing suits to hide my cellulite. Why even stress about summer or an extra cupcake when these are just an internet click away.

I wouldn't be surprised if every order came with some complimentary holy water or bleach.

Maybe I will see someone wearing one of these while I am vacationing this summer. I won't point and laugh publicly, but I might get the church giggles.

it's that time again...

It is the time I dread all freakin' year long.

Seriously, I psyche myself out for this so bad I practically have panic attacks in the days leading up to it.

Have you guessed it?



It's time for my annual pelvic exam and pap smear (in which the word pap smear makes me gag a little)

Thankfully my awesome doctor has online scheduling.

Now the wait until my appointment time is confirmed.

summer-summer-summertime...time to sit back and unwind

I found this post in my drafts. It kind of made me sad to look at it. I wrote it before this whole wound ordeal began.

Oh, how the tide changes with one twist in the road.

Anyway, it was a preliminary list that I was working on to organize my activities this summer.

Things may have had a bit of a hiccup, but I still plan to do most if not all of these things.

List of things to I want to do this Summer

-canoeing on town lake

-take at least two sewing classes

-go to carlos and charlies

- enjoy a sunset at mansfield dam and/or mount bonnell

-go tubing on the river at least twice a month until school starts

-have a campout with friends (and just to be clear I don't mean actually camping in tents)

-stay on the riverwalk in san antonio

-read at least three new books (I am too embarrassed to tell you what I am currently reading because it is not literature in the least...let's just say it involves a celebrity's life story...a b-list celebrity...hey at least I'm reading!)

-visit my hometown and go to the beach

-stay up all night at least twice ( i really enjoy this) [mission accomplished on this one]

-a 30th unbirthday party to make up for my shitstorm of a month that was May 2009 ( and yes this will call for you to endure at least a few hours of karoke)

-go to the farmers market

-relax!!!

school's out for summer!!!

School finally ended on Wednesday...it was bittersweet. I had an awesome class this year. I couldn't help but get teary-eyed and sentimental telling them goodbye. I gave them some life lessons to remember. I reminded them to never give up, and to avoid the waiting place. I know too many people just hoping that something great will happen in their lives. I told them to make it happen, and I hope they do.

I spent all day Thursday cleaning up my classroom, storing things away. Oh how I wanted to just shove everything in a closet or two and call it a day. But I know that when the end of August rolls around I will want the summer to last a little longer and be glad that I spent the extra few hours to get everything meticulously organized.

It's funny how different things looked on the day before the first day of school compared to what it looks like the day after the last day.

The night before the first day:

The day after the last day:

I am so excited to start sleeping in!

wound is a weird word. WARNING! not for the weak...

	Okay...so here it is. "The wound" I feel like he should have a name or something..maybe I will call him Walter. Of course it is a 'he'; a real lady would never be this brash or cruel, or ugly. Please ignore the rash, it has gotten much worse and is the worst I have ever suffered from in my life. Trust me, I am not exaggerating by using the word suffer. It is an itch you can't scratch, which is a true test of patience. I hate having sensitive skin. The gray stuff is from the wound vac tape. After they clean my skin they put adhesive film over it that makes it tacky so that the tape will adhere to it. It is gummy, sticky and awful, and a real bitch to get off. I told Ryan this morning I may put this on ratemywound.com. In this picture Walter is about 7-8cm long, 1 1/2 cm wide and probably about 3 1/2 cm deep, maybe even more shallow. This picture looks a lot better than the one they took after my surgery. Once I figure out how to use our new scanner, I will post that one. It was taken with the Physical Therapy camera, I was too doped to think of using my camera phone at the time. So far I have had RECORD breaking healing. I am not kidding. Those physical therapists should have known better than to tell me I can't do something. I told them I would set records and they shouldn't have doubted me. I will be chilling by the pool well before they ever thought I would. I just know it. I am hoping my wound vac goes off soon and then Ryan will just be packing it at home and I will go to Physical Therapy a few times a week for debriedment, monitoring and dressing changes.

I'm Alive!!!

Hi guys!  So sorry for the lack of posting.  May is usually my favorite month, but this year it was the pits.  Any who, June has finally arrived and I am slowly getting back to normal.

Is it sick that I really want to post a picture of my wound?  I really do, but I must say it is extremely close to my butt crack.  Yeah, that's my luck, I had to have surgery on my ass.

Basically, on my birthday I caught some sort of stomach bug and while I was completely wiped out for about 4 days of horrible-ness I somehow won the lottery on getting a pilonidal cyst.  Which then I had opened and then noticed I was getting worse only to find out I developed a nasty infection that can be life threatening if you don't get it taken care of.  I actually had a "superbug".  Really, my surgeon used those words.  So I had emergency surgery (which should be another post entirely) because all of the tissue infected had to be removed before it spread.  In the hospital they treated me like I was handing out AIDS to people walking by, it was embarrassing.  My doctor said that I probably got the infection from school and that it is everywhere these days, lurking in corners.  I just had an open site for the bug to work it's way into.  But all in all, we aren't sure how I got so sick so fast.

The craziest part...my wound started out  9cm long, 1 and 1/2 cm wide and almost 5 cm deep.  That is like 2 inches deep into my body dug out.  I was on some serious morphine (oh how I miss you sometimes).  The day before I got out of the hospital I was in so much pain that I was shaking uncontrollably and could barely walk or stand.  It was so upsetting Ryan told me he almost fainted.

So I have a wound vac, which is basically a sponge that is in my body attached to a vacuum to control drainage (gross, I know).  I have to go to Physical Therapy wound care 3 times a week to have my dressings changed.  I am certainly the youngest person, which is interesting, and freaks me out a little.  My therapists are all really cool and we joke around a lot.  I can't drive myself to therapy because I have to basically O.D. on pain medicine so I am not a little bitch during my debridement and wound care.  It is a total pain having to ask people to drive me to the hospital 3 times a week and to leave school early.  I just hate making a fuss like that.  At least Ryan is legally obligated to take me according to our marriage license and the State of Texas. Christy is just an awesome friend who knows I have too much on her to upset me (just kidding you two, I know you take me because you love me).  My Mom absolutely could not handle it anymore.  In fact when she saw my surgical site the first time she screamed that it was the grossest thing she had ever seen in her life and then said "she is going to die, isn't she" in the saddest voice I have ever heard her say.  But thanks for the reinforcement Mom, really.  The doctor told her, "Of course she is going to live."

And she didn't lie, because I did...live that is.

So I am back at work wrapping up the school year (and by that I mean that my students are watching Toy Story as we speak while I post this..and packing up my classroom for the short 11 weeks until I have to unpack it again).

Thanks for the well wishes and sweet thoughts.  I have missed you.

not quite as planned...

i just got out of the hospital.  i had to have emergency surgery on sunday.  its a long annoying story but i had to have a cyst removed.  it ended up testing positive for MRSA so my life has been a shitstorm (sorry but i couldn't think of any better term).  my mom is with me and ryan has been awesome in helping me through this.

i do have a wound vac.  it is weird and disturbing and i dont even want to think of it better yet, carry this thing around with me.

i mean, is this really happening to me?

this is the uncoolest of uncool, but i will get through this.

i will be returning to the blogosphere and work next tuesday. 

until then, i will be eating mass quantities of vicodin and laying on my arse.

i miss all of you and will still be blog stalking you i just dont feel up to posting.

i do swear that when i return it will be grins and giggles and no more downer posts, geez!

when it rains, it pours...

So as luck would have it, I have been home sick since my birthday.

I woke up feeling great, put on a nice birthday outfit, and headed out the door. I arrived at school, retrieved my students who were waiting anxiously for me in the cafeteria (perhaps more excited than I that it was my birthday). But as I was walking to my classroom I started feeling weird. Kind of dizzy, a little sweaty, and stomach cramps.

Hoping it would subside, I ignored it. It obviously did not like my disregard so it came at me with a vengeance. My best friend Christy told me she was coming by at 9:00 to bring the kids cupcakes. Right as she arrived at my classroom I told her I was feeling horribly sick and to watch them for a minute, the next thing I know I am puking in the trashcan by my desk. Real professional of me, I know.

This began the worst few days of my life thus far.

To top it off, I was on a nine year no puking streak. In fact, I can tell you the last time I was sick. It was alcohol related when I was 21, hanging out at Ryan and his roommates apartment with Christy. Let's just say it involved a beer bong.

So all weekend I had the worst intestinal virus. I even went to doctor on Saturday to make sure death was not imminent.

Just as I was turning the corner and starting to feel like myself again, I started having a weird pain on my back. It was worse on Sunday and so bad yesterday that I couldn't even sit or lay comfortably.

I went back to the doctor again and then a surgeon and had to have a cyst removed off my back. I will spare you the details but it is so extremely sore. They are packing it so it heals from the inside out, whatever that really means. Thank god for Lortab elixer or I wouldn't even be able to type right now.

During the appointment with the Surgeon he also told me that once this infection clears up, he wants to do a procedure in the OR to correct another Surgeons mistake from a similar surgery I had in 1997. I guess I will do it right at the beginning of summer to get it out of the way.

On a brighter note, yesterday I had solid foods!

As soon as this is all over, I am having a 30th unbirthday weekend!

Notes to Mom...

Because I am the **nicest teacher on the planet** I have my students make sweet letters for their Mom's on Mother's Day.

I was reading the rough drafts and they many of them were so funny that I had to exploit 10 of my students letters by posting them here. Enjoy!

* names changed for privacy

Dear Mom,

Thank you for getting me toys and cooking dinner. I am sorry for all of the bad things I have done. Thank you for making me a lot of healthy food and your tea. When I go to Florida I'm going to miss you very much. I am even sorry that you have to clean all by yourself when me and Bob are doing our homework. And if we get back early in the summer can we go swimming? I love you so much, Nicole p.s. Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mommy,

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for buying me stuff. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for buying us a new house, I like that there is three toilets and your shower is cool. I love you, Happy Mother's Day. Love, Neil

Dear Mom,

Thank you for buying me thangs (they often spell things, 'thangs'...I think it's funny). I will love you all the time even when I am at school. You are so nice. Thank you for feeding me. I will love you when I am bigger. I am sorry if I've ever been bad. Thank you for helping me when I was a baby. Thank you for caring for me my whole life. Love, Ana P.S. Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I love you Mom and not just because you give me toys. I love you because I love you. I hope this inspires you. I love you Mom. Happy Mother's Day Mom. Your Princess, Leeanne

Dear Grandma,

You are the best Grandma. You work very hard and take care of our family. You make our food. You make our blankets. You love me very much and I respect that. I love you too. Happy Mother's Day. Love, Stacie

Dear Mom,

I love you because you treat me right And you take care of me. Thank you for buying me thangs (I told you). I love you Mom. And I'll take care of you. Your my favorite memory. And happy Mother's day! Sincerely, your wonderful daughter, Heather

Dear Mommy,

Thank you for making me in this world. At Mother's Day we are going to cook for you and try to buy you flowers. Happy Mother's Day! Thank you for buying me a Wii and food and gallons of water. I love you very very very very very very much. Love, Michael P.S. Thank you very much for being a good Mom.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all that you have done for me and taking care of me everyday! Without you I would be nothing. Thank you for all of your love and support. Thank you for having birth to me. Thank you so much. Love, Sam P.S. Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I love you and I want you to stay more longer (when asked what he meant by this, he told me "to not die" - and as far as I know, she isn't sick or anything). Thank you for all you have done. I love you. You work very hard for me, Matt, and Bobby. You are very important to me. I love you. Happy Mother's Day. Love, Jack

Dear Mommy,

Thank you for the support. You are valuable to me (BTW- that is one of our vocabulary words). Thank you for giving me the power to learn and do my homework. Thank you for giving birth to me and life. I love you very much. Nothing can stop me from loving you. If you had died I would cry every day. You are a shining star to me. Roses are red, violets are blue, you are cool and funny too. Happy Mother's Day. Love, Faith

(**side note: I tell my students this every day subliminally. It is really cute because I will say, I want you to be the smartest kids in 2nd grade, so since I am the nicest teacher on the planet, I am giving you a test just to make sure. They totally buy it, to the point to where all I have to say is, "Since I am"...and they will finish the sentence in unison--- "the nicest teacher on the planet". Once a parent even told me, my child really loves you. She even tells me you are the nicest teacher in the universe. In my head I am thinking...Wow, I wonder where she got that. But it works. Some of you Moms may want to try it out on your own kids. It works for anything.**)

So, Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there. I know it is Mom's Day everyday in your home...but you should enjoy this one shout out you get all year. Tomorrow there will be poop and spit up or throw up or tears that you need to wipe and probably without much thanks.

the big three oh

There I've said it.

Most of you probably figured anyway.

Happy Birthday to me.

Yesterday was my birthday and it was horrible. I must have a stomach virus or something because the day started with me throwing up in front of my students. Not good, even though they were pretty fascinated by the whole thing. I didn't eat anything, no cake, no dinner, and had to cancel plans with friends.

We are going to give it another shot today.

The Name Game

Something funny today....

A student walked up to me and said...."So, Ms. B, Did you know who I am named after?"

After a pause, I said, "No, Who?"

He said, "Nickolas Cage"

Of course, I said, "Wow, that is really cool!"

And then he replied, "It was kind of my Dad's idea, he loves his acting."

Too cute.

Why Can't I Be More Discreet With My Camera Phone?

When I was in Vegas a few weeks back I was in the hotel elevator with Ryan and a girl stepped in holding an empty cocktail glass and holding her 4 inch heels.

I didn't think much of it, but it kind of seemed like she was doing the night after walk of shame.

Right before we came out of the elevator for the lobby/casino she started to put her shoes on and I noticed tattooed in script on the top of both her feet....

"God's favorite"

I wish I could have gotten a picture, but it would have been too obvious with just the three of us.

I bet God was proud. Thankfully she is his favorite because I can't handle that much pressure.

Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo

Ryan came across this for me on the internet.

I think i am going to need to gift this to myself (if only it was 1985).

Make note how the first review says that one perk of the item is that the box is big enough to cut down and breakdance on!

I love it!!!

outbreak...

Does anyone remember this movie?

I think I was in junior high when it came out.  What I mostly remember about it was being in the movie theater during the coughing scene and then being really freaked out that the other patrons in the theater were going to give me god knows what.

This brings me to the recent media frenzy over the swine flu.  I find it extremely annoying that our media causes such panic and alarm over the tiniest thing. When something bad actually does occur we are dont know whether to believe it because they are always crying wolf!  

It is frustrating that you never know when the threat is really elevated (since it always is) or when to relax.

The kids in my class are really scared over the swine flu.  A few a them are convinced they have it.  For now, I think we are safe.  ( I have promised them I will keep watch over their condition).  I guarantee it is paranoia from their parents and from watching the news.

I don't want to be a coward.  I know that the flu can be serious and we are in close proximity to an area which has confirmed cases of the disease, but all these news conferences and notes home to parents and freaking the kids out about hygiene they should already be doing anyway is making me tired.

My favorite comment about it today was from a boy in my class.  He came up to me this morning and told me he was worried another student was showing signs of diarrhea and that the news said this is a symptom of swine flu.  Of course the child who he was concerned about told me that she felt okay but ate candy for breakfast this morning because her Mom had to be at work early and her 5th grade brother told her to make breakfast herself.

At least they are always looking out for each other.  So I guess I can't complain really.

birthday countdown...

My birthday is next week.

I have mixed feelings about it.  I wish I could embrace my age and that it didn't make me feel bad.  But it does.  I hate aging.  I hate getting a year older.  I was one of the only kids growing up who dreaded turning a year older.  I didn't ever want to be twelve and three quarters. I never pushed to be that next  year old. Even when i turned 21 it wasn't a big deal or rite of passage. Being 17,18, 19, or 20 never really stopped me from having my way with booze. 

I wish I could grow younger, but I can't --- so shouldn't I  just accept it and get over it? 

Ryan tells me that he thinks it pisses people off who are older than me when I complain about my age.  Not that I care, their age is fine for them, it is me who doesn't want to be their age.

My Mom says it will change when I have children.  She said then I will just obsess over the fact that they are getting older before my very eyes.  

I have read into it and some people think that it may be because I have a fear that I don't feel that I have accomplished enough at my current age, or that I am afraid of the unknown.  I don't really know what it is, but I wish there was some pill I could take so that I would just forget about it.

I know that in reality age is just a number. It doesn't define me and my happiness, it won't actually prevent me from having fun or for pretending that I am 25 forever.   But, I look at people who are obviously aging and still pretending that they are younger, and sometimes I feel sorry for them.  What's annoying is:  that is going to be me!

I am at a real crossroads.  It sort of reminds me something I learned about in college lecture:  erickson's 8 stages of human development.

It is embarrassing to lie about your age, especially when people consider you to be young. I can't help but think I am going to be the age which I thought was old just a few years ago. 

Not to mention,  I can't even bring myself to type it right here on my blog which must be some sort of violation of trust.

I am going to get over this.  I don't care if it takes psychotherapy.  It is not like I have a choice. Like it or not, the clock is going to keep on ticking anyway.

(ryan i can almost hear you chanting benjamin button in your creep me out voice and i just laughed so hard that maggie came to see what was so funny only to find me laughing and blogging.  she is probably really weirded out right now.)

blah..g

i haven't been up to blogging much lately.  

i have been under tremendous amounts of stress.

my 16 year old niece had to move in with me.  it is a long drawn out story and frankly i am just sick and tired of talking about it.

....it's a girl!  she is 16 and about 100 pounds (i dont know how long she is but i would guess about 5'3")!

welcome to parenthood of a teenager!

boy is it complicated.

kissing cousins...

so i found out a few weeks ago that my husbands cousin was dating another cousin. what? are you freaking kidding me...is this really happening in the united states?

that is just gross and weird and on so many levels.

first of all, they met at a family reunion. i dont know about you, but that is the last place i am out looking for dates. i mean really. i have not even considered telling my few single friends remaining to test the waters of the family gene pool.

i can barely stand going to family reunions. they are boring. you have to awkwardly hang out with people who gush about how small you were when you were last forced together. and really, who wants to hang out with their crazy ass family? not me. my immediate family; i love (well most of them...okay some of them). i don't mind spending holidays with my brother and sister and mom and dad and in laws, but you throw in the rest of the mix and i need a valium.

but date one of them...better yet have sex with one of them? no and thank you. absolutely not. never. there is no way i am shacking up with one of those nutbags. i have one semi-cute cousin, but i remember when he used to pee the bed and his mom was worried he wouldn't grow out of it. kind of kills any crush if you ask me.

so this brings me to the next shocking news...they're pregnant. yes, the cousin got the other 2nd cousin pregnant. wow! the aunt thinks they need genetic testing. but they say that they are happy so who i am to judge really.

i guess there really is someone for everyone, i just am grateful that mine joined the family and wasn't already a member.

what is that going to be like if it doesn't work out? this seems like a case for jerry springer.

blogger hiatus...

I am sorry my friends...

I have been on a blogger hiatus.  After my vacation things just piled on top of each other and I had no time to blog.

I am going to update tonight.

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter!!!

Come fly the friendly skies....

or shall i say burn in a fiery inferno?

one more thing you may have not known about me is that i have a fear of flying.  well, it is not so much as a fear of flying as a fear of dying and crashing.  

i really think i would feel better if i was in the cockpit and flying the plane (not that the other passengers wouldn't be freaked out, but who cares about them)  so perhaps it is really a loss of control that i dont like.  here i am all high up in the sky with a huge chance of falling and i am trusting some pilot who may or may not have been in the captain's lounge boozing it up with the copilot or snorting lines off some flight attendant.  so yeah, you get what i am saying.  hopefully.

people have this notion that flying in an airplane is safer than driving blah, blah, blah. i dont care. there arent as many planes in the sky as there are cars on the road and the chance of a pilot making a mistake or equipment failing can still be huge.  

i wouldn't say that i am an absolute freak over it, but before i fly i do worry about it a few days before the flight takes place and i worry about it while i am at my destination occasionally until i am finally back and safe at home.  dont get me wrong though, i love to travel and if i had the opportunity to do it even more often than i already do (thereby creating more of a chance of an accident) i totally would.

ryan had a doctors appt. last week so i invited myself along to ask if there is something that i can take for our trip today so that i dont have a panic attack and freak out the people sitting near me.  i have  a tendency when we are taking off and landing to tense up and sometimes tear up or even cry and usually whisper to ryan that we are probably going to die.  and dont even get me started about turbulence or needing to go to the restroom.

anyway, i asked dr. f and he told me that he would gladly give me something.  of course i had to remind him to make sure that it isn't too strong in case i need to operate safety equipment and get myself to safety.  i will get help for the others too, once i my needs have been met.

i picked up my prescription (well Ryan did), but then i worried it wouldnt be strong enough so i had a prescription of valium filled too just in case.  i dont even know if i want to take any of it.  you cant drink and i think it is just going to make me sleepy and groggy.  i guess i will stop being such a control freak and just leave it to chance.

in the meantime, keep your fingers crossed that i safely land in vegas tonight.  i am sure there will be plenty to gab about when i am back from my vacation in a few days...

.

spring break 09

well, spring break only has a few more days left. i ended up getting a cold on sunday so i was camped out in bed for most of monday and some of tuesday. it did not keep me from celebrating saint patty's on 6th for south by southwest...

today as ryan and i were driving down south congress heading home after a long day of running errands and hanging out it was amazing to see all the people in town for this huge festival. the weather has been perfect and a lot of great bands have been playing for free. it sucks that i haven't felt 100% but i am lucky to live in such a cool city.

i haven't gotten a chance to catch any of the film festival, but i heard Bruno (sacha baron cohen) was being crazy in the streets and that seth rogen was spotted out by a show i was at. too bad i missed him. i could have geekily told him that his comedy is amazing.

anyway, spring break is coming to an end and it has been awesome. i can't believe that in a few days i am going to las vegas. way to round out the month of march.

hallefreakinlujah…

Spring Break has finally arrived!

I don't know who looks forward to it more...the students or the teachers!

Seriously if next week weren't Spring Break I don't think I would show up to work.  It is the time of year where stress is at an all time high.

Too bad the weather is crappy.  The Texas heat will soon arrive.  For now I am going to cozy up to our fireplace and watch some brain deteriorating television.

I am so excited that SXSW is next week and I hope the shuttle launch finally happens this Sunday.

i only mildly want to strangle him sometimes...

today is my wedding anniversary. wow. i can't believe it has already been four years. holy crap where has the time gone?

i really love my husband. he is one of the funniest people i have ever met. he is also very sweet and romantic (today he brought me lunch and had flowers delivered).

he is the other half of my heart. here's to four more!

Things probably not worth knowing...

Here is infamous 25 random things about me. I personally thought the Time article was funny, but not in the way the reporter intended. Some people just take themselves too seriously.

1. I get really grossed out if people have food or drinks in the bathroom. It makes me want to vomit.

2. You may have already known this, but I am a nervous talker.

3. Eyeballs are disgusting. I can't even get my eyes checked because I am too freaked out by an eye doctor. The only way I know I have 20/20 vision (well used to anyway) is from the driver's license test they give you and from when I was in elementary school. Even a diagram or a picture of an eyeball will totally freak me out. Please don't send me any to be funny. Please.

4. Sometimes I think my dogs were reincarnated from humans. If one of my dog's wink at me I have to wink back. You know, just in case they are trying to send me a message or something. It is also a reason I don't let them watch me do anything too embarrassing.

5. I love cheese. I wish I could give up dairy since there are a lot of people who are convinced it is a government conspiracy to keep us sick. But you will have to pull the cheese out of my cold dead hands.

6. I have a pelvic kidney.

7. I have always wanted to be an astronaut. The solar system, distant galaxies, and the vacuum of space amaze me. I am still considering the teacher in space program. If I decide not to have children, I will certainly apply.

8. I have a tendency to hold grudges. I hate that about myself. I wish I could just get over it. You may think I forgot or forgave. I didn't.

9. I cannot watch a movie in black and white. It will not hold my attention. I am too distracted wondering what colors their clothes were, etc. Technicolor is very important to me. I love saturated color. Pinks, reds, yellow, purple, aqua, etc. Life is too short for boring colors. Heaven forbid I become colorblind and have to go to the eye doctor.

10. I am unsure about my religious beliefs. I feel very torn about how I feel. Maybe it is a phase but I am scared of choosing one or the other. I don't know what you are supposed to do when you aren't sure what you believe. Especially when you used to know.

11. One of the reasons I love working with children is because they are so funny. I just don't like that there usually isn't another adult in the room to share the humor with. I wish I had the time to write down some of the hilarious things they tell me. It would be a book in no time.

12. I take pride in teaching children how to read. Even when I am frustrated with a struggling reader, I tell myself to keep trying and look for new ways. I am a leaving a legacy that will last their whole lives. You may forget how to ride a bicycle, but it is unlikely that you will ever forget how to read.

13. If I am nervous or grossed out my toes will go numb. It is the weirdest sensation.

14. I live in fear of a tragic accident or imminent death (cancer, murder, brain tumor, blood clot, plane accident) and sometimes it can be mentally crippling. I hate feeling like something is wrong with me. This is funny because people tell me I seem so self confident.

15. I don't really like Texas. I am over the whole cowboy gun toting tumbleweed vision that everyone else in America has of people who live here. I do not have a Texas accent and even I can't really take people seriously who do. I don't say yall unless I am making fun of Britney Spears and I don't have problems enunciating. I recently was at a family function where people were actually discussing Texas being its own country. Oh yeah, I am so sure.

16. I love to sing at the top of my lungs when the situation presents itself. I am quite talented at making an ass of myself at karaoke.

17. Once I had an ovarian cyst and I was so freaked out that it would have hair or teeth or a finger I barely slept until it was finally removed. I just knew it was my evil twin. Thankfully, it was just a normal fluid filled cyst. When I woke up from surgery my Mom and Ryan said it was the first question I asked.***

18. I love bleach. Once I even bleached my big toe because I had a toe fungus from my swim class in college. The bleach made it go away quickly. I have a lot of funny pictures with my toe if you ever want to see it. Despite my embarrassment and trauma from the whole experience, I would still show anyone and everyone. It didn't look gross, just white. That bleach is probably going to cause the cancer I am so afraid of.

19. I can't paint my fingernails. Toenails are a must, but polish on my hands make me feel like they're dirty. I think it looks cute, and I want to paint them or have a manicure, but the polish won't last on me for more than a day, if even that -- I will end up taking it off in a fit of thinking my nails are dirty.

20. I love Austin. It is the least Texas-y that people can imagine. There are more gays and liberals here than all of Texas combined. (every girl needs a fairy to keep her grounded) And heaven forbid you tear down a tree or an old structure, the hippies will freak out. At least this tends to scare off the more conservative so they avoid Austin. When I moved here my Dad asked me why I wanted to live around weirdos.

21. I want a baby but I worry about the state of things with our Earth and our economy. Most of all I worry about losing a part of myself in being someone else's mother (I know it is selfish and this is hard for me to admit).

22. I loved high school. If I could go back and relive it, I definitely would.

23. I really love being up really late at night. Two, three, or four am is my most creative and productive time. I just can't do it much these days with my schedule. Thankfully summer is just around the corner.

24. Getting old really makes me nervous. I hate having a birthday for the sole reason of turning another year older. Thankfully I get to to stuff the pain away with cupcakes and presents.

25. I am incredibly neurotic. I am a serial list maker and my planner/calendar must be updated pretty much always (which reminds me...). I even keep my planner from previous years. For instance, I could tell you what I was doing on January 19, 2007. I went to a doctor's appt. at 9:30am, got my car inspected, went to class, went to the mall, and got paid. I don't really ever get lazy with updating it except for around the very end of December, but only because I am prepping the new calendar for the upcoming year.

And there it is. My list is complete. I would tag some of you, but I don't want to piss off anyone. If you want to do it, you should. It was surprisingly harder than I expected and I love reading other people's lists.

***these things actually exist: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermoid_cyst

Keep your panties on...

I am going to post the 25 things this afternoon. I forgot to update the file on my flash drive so I have half here and half at home. I hope it is worth the anticipation, Ryan.

you can't stop me motherf***er cause im on a boat!

oh my goodness, i love the lonely island boys. ryan and i became obsessed with them a while back and their latest is the best ever.

if you haven't already seen this, you absolutely need to....

andy, jorma, and akiva are taking over!

not safe for children or work (obscene language)

its going to be a short weekend.

i finally succumbed and got hooked on facebook. i was immediately bombarded with high school ex-friends who seem to be doing well. i still dont understand why it makes me post in third person (crystal hates that) and the concept of writing on someone's wall or hiding something on their page or being poked.

in other news i started my list of 25 things you never wanted to know about me but now you have to. i will post it on sunday because i am too lazy to get my flash drive out to send it now. i typed it at work. it is kind of embarrassing all the things that i am divulging publicly. oh well i really never have been a modest kind of girl.

wishing everyone a relaxing weekend.

facebook

i have been getting harassed lately to start a facebook account.  i have a myspace, but i dont use it much except to find out juice on old friends and stay in contact with bands that i like so i know when they are touring.

it seems like everywhere i am these days people are asking me if i am on it.  i finally gave in and set up an account.  to be honest, it is kind of confusing at first.

i started it last night while watching lost so i was a bit occupied. i am going to work on finishing the setup today. i am sure i will figure it out, right?  i can't be that much of an idiot.  

jeez i am getting lazy with this.

okay i just had a whole post ready and by the miracle of my inability to control my dogs and right hand i deleted it.

ugh.

just so you know it was really clever and witty but now it is gone. lost forever in my computer.

this past weekend my best friend got engaged. it wasn't much of a surprise. she seems happy and that is all that matters.

today was the taks test. i am grateful to not be teaching a taks grade this year. i see the need for standardized testing, but i think it is implemented incorrectly. i have always had a lifelong dream of being a lawmaker so people that determine things that occur daily in classrooms are no longer decided by old men who havent seen the inside of an elementary classroom in over 50+ years.

this weekend we are going to a cheer competition to support my 16 year old niece. my sister is very involved with my niece's competitive cheerleading. it is insane, some of these people. i swear if if the cheer mom's wave any of their noisemakers in my face someone is going to get stabbed. nevertheless, the competition should make for good blogging material.

ps. i dont want to jinx it...but the dizzy feeling has subsided. turns out it may have been the flonase i just started. i googled the symptoms i was having (doctoring myself thank you) and it seems like a lot of other people have felt anxiety and dizzy from flonase. just one of those things i guess. i wont be taking it anymore. i have three bottles of it though because my mother-in-law bought them through pharmacy mail order. too bad people would probably be creeped out if i offered it on craigslist. i mean i am not surfing craigslist for pharmaceuticals.

this post is really random.

xxoo

jury duty and field trips...

On Monday I had jury duty.  It was my first time ever and I was a bit excited at the prospect of fulfilling my civic duty.  But then I went.  It was terribly boring, just waiting around.  There was someone who brought their sick child who cried for at least an hour nonstop.  I don't know why they didn't just let that person leave, they looked humiliated.  

Once they put us in the courtroom I found out the case was about indecency with a minor.  I thought, ugh...I don't even want to hear the details.  Of course once they started asking me questions I knew the defense didn't like me.  They asked about where I taught at, etc...then they were asking me if I thought kids lie.  Of course children don't always tell the truth, but I think in general children lie about minor things and if there is an adult they trust and the situation is serious, I think they would normally tell the truth.  I don't believe there are many young children who lie maliciously.

Thankfully I wasn't picked.  Everyone deserves to be innocent until proven guilty, but the guy did seem a little creepy.  When they introduced the defendant, he practically peaced us out.  It was weird, like hey guys, I am the one being indicted.   Innocent or not, I would have  been embarrassed to even be accused.  Anyway, I don't know all the details obviously, but I am glad to be at school and not sitting around a courtroom all day.  Talk about time suckage.  At least at my job things change at least every 45 min. usually faster.  There is never a dull moment.

Speaking of no dull moments today we went on a field trip.  I should have taken valium before getting on the buses.  I am so tired right now.

I have been feeling the weirdest faint feeling lately.  I don't know if it is because I am tired or because of allergies or what.  But I get this weird I might pass out feeling.  Then it passes.  Then it comes back.  Hmmm, I don't know what to do about it.  I haven't actually passed out yet so I don't see any reason to see my doctor.  

Hopefully it just goes away.  Soon.