I prefer to worship God by sleeping in on Sundays...

One of the kids in my class told me that he was worried about God punishing another child in our class for misbehaving.

He was very upset and told me that his Grandma told him that God punishes people who disobey.

I overheard him telling the child, God can be really mean that's what Grandma told me.

religious creepy on a whole new level...

YIKES!

Oh. My. Goodness.

Have you seen these?

Who doesn't want a bathing suit with the tagline: "Highlights your face, not your body"?

This is hilarious. I would like to think that Jesus is not judging me based on what I wear to the lake or the pool or tubing on the river.

On the other hand, maybe I should consider these bathing suits to hide my cellulite. Why even stress about summer or an extra cupcake when these are just an internet click away.

I wouldn't be surprised if every order came with some complimentary holy water or bleach.

Maybe I will see someone wearing one of these while I am vacationing this summer. I won't point and laugh publicly, but I might get the church giggles.

kissing cousins...

so i found out a few weeks ago that my husbands cousin was dating another cousin. what? are you freaking kidding me...is this really happening in the united states?

that is just gross and weird and on so many levels.

first of all, they met at a family reunion. i dont know about you, but that is the last place i am out looking for dates. i mean really. i have not even considered telling my few single friends remaining to test the waters of the family gene pool.

i can barely stand going to family reunions. they are boring. you have to awkwardly hang out with people who gush about how small you were when you were last forced together. and really, who wants to hang out with their crazy ass family? not me. my immediate family; i love (well most of them...okay some of them). i don't mind spending holidays with my brother and sister and mom and dad and in laws, but you throw in the rest of the mix and i need a valium.

but date one of them...better yet have sex with one of them? no and thank you. absolutely not. never. there is no way i am shacking up with one of those nutbags. i have one semi-cute cousin, but i remember when he used to pee the bed and his mom was worried he wouldn't grow out of it. kind of kills any crush if you ask me.

so this brings me to the next shocking news...they're pregnant. yes, the cousin got the other 2nd cousin pregnant. wow! the aunt thinks they need genetic testing. but they say that they are happy so who i am to judge really.

i guess there really is someone for everyone, i just am grateful that mine joined the family and wasn't already a member.

what is that going to be like if it doesn't work out? this seems like a case for jerry springer.