Does this look infected?

Okay, so we have established that I am a bit of a nervous talker (and laugh-er). 

I talk a lot in general anyway, but when I am nervous, it is ridiculous.  You should see me at weddings or funerals, I am a laughing, chatty mess. 

Well at the doctors office lately, I have been out of control.

Let's just say I may have a bit of crush on my doctor.  And its no big deal, its not like that.. it is different than the love for my husband.  He is just a really great doctor. I was terribly sick last summer and doctors weren't really listening. Out of desperation I found him, and now I am better (after needing emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed and taking 26 pills a day for two weeks to get rid of a stomach ulcer) .  So of course I am going to have a real respect for him. 

Anyway, I always thought he was easy on the eyes.. (but not really my type) he is balding, an older man -- 44 or so, in great shape, good bedside manner, etc.  

Who doesn't mind a nice looking doctor, right?

Well, I recently had a sinus infection that wouldn't go away. I went to the doctor and they told me to suffer through it (use a neti pot, take sudafed, get rest, no alcohol).  Two weeks later I was still sick so I went back and he put me on antibiotics, told me to take sudafed, yadda, yadda, yadda.  And after a huge arsenal of cold medicine and a round of antibiotics I WAS STILL SICK!  

I asked him if my body is perhaps rejecting all this exercise and healthy lifestyle, but he said that I probably just needed another round of antibiotics. 

Now, I have told him several times that I am sorry for my behavior in his office. I also said I just get weird when I  am nervous.  He is super cool about it, and smiles at me (but probably thinks 'yeah right'). 

Here is a snapshot of just some of the things I have said to him:

Dr:  Okay, so we should change your antibiotic.

Me: Great, now I am going to get a yeast infection.

Dr:  Well, lets put you on diflucan to combat that from happening.

Me: Thanks because I hate to be itchy, especially when its my vagina.

What?  Did I really just say that?  

I swear when he swaggers in that little room with his wit and good manners, what little sense I have is thrown out the door.

Oh wait, we aren't done. At a different appointment with him:

 After my appointment I go out the door and see Ryan's truck in the parking lot.  So I sneak back to the doctor area where he is putting my notes in the computer and I ask if I can go into my husbands appointment. I go in the room and Ryan is laughing because he thought that was me in the next room, but says he couldn't hear the conversation that well. 

Too bad for him. 

 Then my doctor comes in and does Ryan's examination and then warns Ryan for never going to the doctor.  To which Ryan tells him I go enough for the both of us (embarrassing).  Then the doctor tells him he needs a physical, but not to worry the rectal exam doesn't occur for at least 20 years.  And I snapped my fingers and said darn.  Then I said "but you get to check his testicals - cough, cough!"  

He is normally extremely professional through my tourette's like outbursts, but he couldn't hold it in for that one.  He laughingly said "Well, she is right, it is something that you need to have done every two years or so".  Ryan's face was red.  I am probably not allowed to go into Ryan's appointments anymore.

And once he was giving me a breast exam because I thought I felt several lumps (turned out to be fibrocystic tissue) and he said "Sorry my hands are cold", I started laughing and then told him  "Geez Dr. F, usually I make a guy at least buy me dinner first."

Thank god I work with children because I clearly cannot function around adults.

** I just had a little panic attack about posting this as if my doctor is going to read my blog. If he did he could probably tell you even funnier things I have said, but have blocked them out mentally so I am still able to function and walk into his office without being horrified. **