Sell this house...

Yesterday a home stager came to our house. Our realtor hired her to get us 'top dollar' (we'll see). It didn't cost me any money so that is fine.

And if I wasn't so crazy it probably would have gone perfectly, but since I am a nutjob, it didn't.

For those of you that don't know me, I tend to have tourette's like outbursts, especially when I am nervous around adults. (you would have figured this out anyway, but I am just putting it out there)

So they (the realtor and decorator) arrived at 10am. I was ready and on time (yay! -- it was a tiny miracle) and she prefaced** the conversation by saying "Any suggestions I make are not personal, there are two ways to live in a house: the way people really live and the way you have to live when you are selling your home."

A normal person would have smiled and nodded...but I said "So are you going to tell us this place is a shithole?"

Ugh. I am so embarrassing.

And that is pretty much how the day went, with me making an ass of myself. Thankfully she didn't have too many suggestions and at least told me that our house is clean and to make sure we keep it that way everyday.

She also told us that we need to start keeping our dogs in the garage, which I have a serious problem with. Our dogs are like our children. Even our naughty dog is a spoiled brat. Look how cute they are (now I need to figure out how to post a picture)...

(...that was easy)

I guess they will be fine they are just dogs, but until we have kids these mutts are our lives. They are our babies and our parents grand-dogs (mom you'll get a new grandchild one day). When I was in high school our neighbor was selling their home, kept their dog in the garage and it died from eating antifreeze. Dogs can get into poison, have you seen Year of the Dog ?(funny/sad movie by the way -- oh look, I figured how to post a link). Ryan assured me that we don't have any poison, but I am not convinced.

She also told us we can keep up post its for the realtors...such as "Dogs are in the garage" (I keep typing God) or "Please turn off lamps when you leave". I was thinking more along the line of : "Stay out of my medicine cabinet, the good stuff is put away***" or "Keep your paws out of my panty drawer". Ryan doesn't think leaving funny notes will reel in buyers.

Boring.

I am sort of against removing all of our pictures. As we have been touring houses I am so curious to see who lived there. (see previous post about how the internet is making me a crazy stalker --- I swear I am barely an arms length away from a restraining order).

Besides it is my home and I love our house. Now that we repainted our front door and spruced up the place maybe we should just keep it.

I don't think I will be disappointed if it doesn't sell.

Here's an annoyance. She suggested to Ryan to put our tv in storage. He just started laughing, and then she said "...but I know you won't". This kind of bothered me. Why is she doing him a favor? That tv is huge, way too big for our living room (this was argument when we got it last year). I have to inconvenience myself, and he gets a break because "you know men and their tv's".

BTW, this picture does it no justice. An abomination of a television.

**I think we can agree if someone says I am not trying to offend they will inevitably offend you anyway.

***Mom if you are reading this by good stuff I mean antibiotics and possibly some leftover vicodin that I never took from my surgery last summer, and maybe some birth control.