jury duty and field trips...

On Monday I had jury duty.  It was my first time ever and I was a bit excited at the prospect of fulfilling my civic duty.  But then I went.  It was terribly boring, just waiting around.  There was someone who brought their sick child who cried for at least an hour nonstop.  I don't know why they didn't just let that person leave, they looked humiliated.  

Once they put us in the courtroom I found out the case was about indecency with a minor.  I thought, ugh...I don't even want to hear the details.  Of course once they started asking me questions I knew the defense didn't like me.  They asked about where I taught at, etc...then they were asking me if I thought kids lie.  Of course children don't always tell the truth, but I think in general children lie about minor things and if there is an adult they trust and the situation is serious, I think they would normally tell the truth.  I don't believe there are many young children who lie maliciously.

Thankfully I wasn't picked.  Everyone deserves to be innocent until proven guilty, but the guy did seem a little creepy.  When they introduced the defendant, he practically peaced us out.  It was weird, like hey guys, I am the one being indicted.   Innocent or not, I would have  been embarrassed to even be accused.  Anyway, I don't know all the details obviously, but I am glad to be at school and not sitting around a courtroom all day.  Talk about time suckage.  At least at my job things change at least every 45 min. usually faster.  There is never a dull moment.

Speaking of no dull moments today we went on a field trip.  I should have taken valium before getting on the buses.  I am so tired right now.

I have been feeling the weirdest faint feeling lately.  I don't know if it is because I am tired or because of allergies or what.  But I get this weird I might pass out feeling.  Then it passes.  Then it comes back.  Hmmm, I don't know what to do about it.  I haven't actually passed out yet so I don't see any reason to see my doctor.  

Hopefully it just goes away.  Soon.

update!

Sorry I have been gone for a while. This week has been busy.

Valentines went well. I made us late for our dinner reservations so we weren't able to go, but no big deal we had a nice dinner anyway at Vinny's italian on Barton Creek. It was cold out. Then we met up with some friends and went here...

I know girls, try to maintain your jealousy. Nothing says romance like a haunted house on Valentine's Day.

So the point of the haunted house is that you have to make it through with your group and you only have the light of a glow stick. Of course, the whole time they were trying to snatch it out of Ryan's hand (we made him lead) and they were successful once in taking it. Ryan ended up hurting his shoulder as he wrestled with a monster to get the glow stick back. You have to sign a waiver so they are able to touch you. That was weird, but we survived.

My Mom is in town visiting because my sister went to Denver, CO to visit a friend. She is watching my 16 year old niece and having to cart her around town.

We are supposed to get an offer on our house today by 5pm. Kind of stressful. The previous house I was in love with I'm not so sure about. If we do accept the offer today we will be homeless unless we can find a house I love. [Ryan, don't worry your opinion will be considered ;)] At least we will have a bit of time before closing.

I really don't think I am going to compromise for a house without a swimming pool. We like to have friends over and go tubing on the river and I really think we would get a lot of use out of one. I don't want an above ground, I want a real pool.

Besides it is usually hell on earth in Texas, and this biznatch doesn't like to sweat!

Valentine Explosion...

I guess it is nice to know you are loved by not only God, but children too.

And the heart says, I love love Mrs. B and like you too

Homemade valentines are my favorite.

WWJD Valentines Edition

Yes, my friends...that actually says God loves you in the upper left hand corner.  So if you are feeling alone this Valentine's day think of God, at least he loves you.  

These are the exact Valentines Jesus would have passed out if he was in elementary school. How sweet.

sugar induced coma

Today was the last day of school before valentines (with children).  Tomorrow we have staff development (I would rather gouge my eyes out than attend any meeting) and Monday is Conference Day (to which I am happy to report that almost all of my conferences are complete).

Back to v-day...

Lets just say it was one step away from being a nuthouse.  The kids were so excited they could barely stand it.  I guess I remember valentines being cool when I was in 2nd grade, but you would have thought they were getting something amazing (I am picturing Oprah with her weird yell: you're getting a car! you're getting a car! you're getting a car!    [side-sidenote: Ryan and I do this when we are giving the dogs treats because they love it; you're getting a treat, you're getting a treat..yeah we're dorks].  When all they really get is candy and those little cards with hilarious valentines greetings like: UR Cute, You caught my eye Valentine, You are heroic valentine!, etc...

I need to send some pictures from my cell phone of the really funny ones...

But seriously.

I have eaten so much crap today.  I told the kids....NO PARTY!  We are only having a valentine exchange.  Yeah right.  I should have known.  

One of my students came to school today and I could tell he didn't feel well.  I asked him this morning and he said he was fine.  Then I caught him by the sink dry heaving and gagging into our trashcan.  I rushed over to check on him without other children noticing and there were tears in his eyes and I asked him again if he didn't feel well and he admitted that he didn't but did not want to go home because then he wouldn't get his valentines.  I felt his head and it was so hot.  Goodness, these children break my heart sometimes.  I sent him to the nurse anyway. Sure enough he had 101 temperature and had to go home.  He was so bummed, but I promised him I would make sure all of his valentines got to him untouched.  Poor baby.

I have had five children out throughout this week for stomachaches and so forth.  No wonder Dr. F says this a cesspool of germs.  Thankfully I haven't gotten sick...yet.  (oh well, I will get to go to the Dr. , right? --- wink, wink)

The kids have gotten me so many gifts. I don't even know what I am going to do with these stuffed animals. One child actually wanted to get me a kitty.  She had mentioned it but I shrugged it off and then the parent told me that she seriously wanted to get me a freakin' cat for valentines.  Sweet thought, but I would have been pissed.  I am very allergic to cats and what in the world would I do with another animal.  

I have more boxed chocolates, cupcakes, and diabetes inducing foods than I want to eat. Not to mention I have a strict policy of not eating food touched by small hands or prepared by children or their parents. No offense, but I don't know what their kitchens are like, and I probably don't want to know. I seriously doubt they are as meticulous as me at avoiding the risk food borne illness.

While I am waiting on a parent to arrive for our conference, I should do some squats or something so I don't feel like such a heffer.  And to think I ran last night and sweated my ass off only to stuff my face with pink frosting and bacteria infested foods.  I think I am going to ruin my no vomit streak...

Does this look infected?

Okay, so we have established that I am a bit of a nervous talker (and laugh-er). 

I talk a lot in general anyway, but when I am nervous, it is ridiculous.  You should see me at weddings or funerals, I am a laughing, chatty mess. 

Well at the doctors office lately, I have been out of control.

Let's just say I may have a bit of crush on my doctor.  And its no big deal, its not like that.. it is different than the love for my husband.  He is just a really great doctor. I was terribly sick last summer and doctors weren't really listening. Out of desperation I found him, and now I am better (after needing emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed and taking 26 pills a day for two weeks to get rid of a stomach ulcer) .  So of course I am going to have a real respect for him. 

Anyway, I always thought he was easy on the eyes.. (but not really my type) he is balding, an older man -- 44 or so, in great shape, good bedside manner, etc.  

Who doesn't mind a nice looking doctor, right?

Well, I recently had a sinus infection that wouldn't go away. I went to the doctor and they told me to suffer through it (use a neti pot, take sudafed, get rest, no alcohol).  Two weeks later I was still sick so I went back and he put me on antibiotics, told me to take sudafed, yadda, yadda, yadda.  And after a huge arsenal of cold medicine and a round of antibiotics I WAS STILL SICK!  

I asked him if my body is perhaps rejecting all this exercise and healthy lifestyle, but he said that I probably just needed another round of antibiotics. 

Now, I have told him several times that I am sorry for my behavior in his office. I also said I just get weird when I  am nervous.  He is super cool about it, and smiles at me (but probably thinks 'yeah right'). 

Here is a snapshot of just some of the things I have said to him:

Dr:  Okay, so we should change your antibiotic.

Me: Great, now I am going to get a yeast infection.

Dr:  Well, lets put you on diflucan to combat that from happening.

Me: Thanks because I hate to be itchy, especially when its my vagina.

What?  Did I really just say that?  

I swear when he swaggers in that little room with his wit and good manners, what little sense I have is thrown out the door.

Oh wait, we aren't done. At a different appointment with him:

 After my appointment I go out the door and see Ryan's truck in the parking lot.  So I sneak back to the doctor area where he is putting my notes in the computer and I ask if I can go into my husbands appointment. I go in the room and Ryan is laughing because he thought that was me in the next room, but says he couldn't hear the conversation that well. 

Too bad for him. 

 Then my doctor comes in and does Ryan's examination and then warns Ryan for never going to the doctor.  To which Ryan tells him I go enough for the both of us (embarrassing).  Then the doctor tells him he needs a physical, but not to worry the rectal exam doesn't occur for at least 20 years.  And I snapped my fingers and said darn.  Then I said "but you get to check his testicals - cough, cough!"  

He is normally extremely professional through my tourette's like outbursts, but he couldn't hold it in for that one.  He laughingly said "Well, she is right, it is something that you need to have done every two years or so".  Ryan's face was red.  I am probably not allowed to go into Ryan's appointments anymore.

And once he was giving me a breast exam because I thought I felt several lumps (turned out to be fibrocystic tissue) and he said "Sorry my hands are cold", I started laughing and then told him  "Geez Dr. F, usually I make a guy at least buy me dinner first."

Thank god I work with children because I clearly cannot function around adults.

** I just had a little panic attack about posting this as if my doctor is going to read my blog. If he did he could probably tell you even funnier things I have said, but have blocked them out mentally so I am still able to function and walk into his office without being horrified. **

tear.

I have been down.

I had a conference with a parent (two of the parents actually) and one of them was totally high.

It seemed like meth or cocaine or something.

The person could not even sit still, their eyes were dilated and it was just terribly uncomfortable and weird.

They were sort of tweaking I guess.

Now I am going to be so worried about this child.

I have taken the necessary steps to help them, but I think we all know how the system is.

And I just pulled out (count them) --- 4 gray hairs a month ago!  This is not going to be good.

**now I know in the grand scheme of things 4 gray hairs probably isn't too bad since I am somewhat on the cusp of being 30, but come on!**

I wonder what they tell their parents about me...

A child in my class asked me "Did you know my Mom has eczema and she is only 27?"  

Why no she did not tell me that, for some reason she left that out of our last conversation.

Kids are funny.

Sell this house...

Yesterday a home stager came to our house. Our realtor hired her to get us 'top dollar' (we'll see). It didn't cost me any money so that is fine.

And if I wasn't so crazy it probably would have gone perfectly, but since I am a nutjob, it didn't.

For those of you that don't know me, I tend to have tourette's like outbursts, especially when I am nervous around adults. (you would have figured this out anyway, but I am just putting it out there)

So they (the realtor and decorator) arrived at 10am. I was ready and on time (yay! -- it was a tiny miracle) and she prefaced** the conversation by saying "Any suggestions I make are not personal, there are two ways to live in a house: the way people really live and the way you have to live when you are selling your home."

A normal person would have smiled and nodded...but I said "So are you going to tell us this place is a shithole?"

Ugh. I am so embarrassing.

And that is pretty much how the day went, with me making an ass of myself. Thankfully she didn't have too many suggestions and at least told me that our house is clean and to make sure we keep it that way everyday.

She also told us that we need to start keeping our dogs in the garage, which I have a serious problem with. Our dogs are like our children. Even our naughty dog is a spoiled brat. Look how cute they are (now I need to figure out how to post a picture)...

(...that was easy)

I guess they will be fine they are just dogs, but until we have kids these mutts are our lives. They are our babies and our parents grand-dogs (mom you'll get a new grandchild one day). When I was in high school our neighbor was selling their home, kept their dog in the garage and it died from eating antifreeze. Dogs can get into poison, have you seen Year of the Dog ?(funny/sad movie by the way -- oh look, I figured how to post a link). Ryan assured me that we don't have any poison, but I am not convinced.

She also told us we can keep up post its for the realtors...such as "Dogs are in the garage" (I keep typing God) or "Please turn off lamps when you leave". I was thinking more along the line of : "Stay out of my medicine cabinet, the good stuff is put away***" or "Keep your paws out of my panty drawer". Ryan doesn't think leaving funny notes will reel in buyers.

Boring.

I am sort of against removing all of our pictures. As we have been touring houses I am so curious to see who lived there. (see previous post about how the internet is making me a crazy stalker --- I swear I am barely an arms length away from a restraining order).

Besides it is my home and I love our house. Now that we repainted our front door and spruced up the place maybe we should just keep it.

I don't think I will be disappointed if it doesn't sell.

Here's an annoyance. She suggested to Ryan to put our tv in storage. He just started laughing, and then she said "...but I know you won't". This kind of bothered me. Why is she doing him a favor? That tv is huge, way too big for our living room (this was argument when we got it last year). I have to inconvenience myself, and he gets a break because "you know men and their tv's".

BTW, this picture does it no justice. An abomination of a television.

**I think we can agree if someone says I am not trying to offend they will inevitably offend you anyway.

***Mom if you are reading this by good stuff I mean antibiotics and possibly some leftover vicodin that I never took from my surgery last summer, and maybe some birth control.