In light of tomorrow's appointment I have some grooming to tend to.
Honestly. I even made a list.
- Bleach armhair (check)
Don't judge. I think dark arm hair looks gross on me. I am pasty white enough, the illusion of super blonde hair gives the illusion of a tan. A tan I desperately need but can't sacrifice the fear of skin cancer or wrinkles.
Anyway, back to the list.
- Trim unmentionables (I can't very well go in looking all chia pet, or shall I say bushy)
- Shave my legs (you know, really shave them, not just the part people can't see and your husband doesn't care about in the heat of the moment)
- Re-paint toenails
- Write my list of questions
- Pick out a cute outfit, and respectable underwear
- Decide the ever important question...Socks or No Socks?
Anyone? Anyone?
You think I would keep up with such grooming all the time. I mean a have a husband for petes sake who would probably appreciate such upkeep. I take care of my own, but there is a special grooming that I do for myself before I see the lady parts doctor, even if just for my own compulsiveness.
I don't even know why I freak myself out so much. I mean she sees va-jay-jays all day long, like she really cares about me or mine. It only takes a few minutes, she's in and out, etc.
I made a list of questions for tomorrow so I don't forget and babble about god knows what. My plan is to stay focused and calm. As calm as can be considering I am going to ask her about clearing the cobwebs off my fallopian tubes and ovaries so we can consider getting this babymaker up and running at some point in time.
Now that school is out and I have been away from the chaos that is 18 children demanding your attention I can consider bringing a child into my life. Thankfully I am going to talk to the doctor before going on vacation with my sister-in-laws and their broods of children. After a week with them I could very well change my mind. I see the tired looks in their eyes, the baby gear that even one child requires, the lack of sleep, and sometimes loss of control. Being a Mom is hard work. Don't get me wrong, I love and adore children. They are tiny blessings and so forth, but so is my clean house and sanity. I know in the end, it is all worth it.
I asked my doctors (sadly I have a few) about the shaving/no shaving issue, and they all told me that they get really creeped out at freshly shaved bushes because all they can think of is the fact that the patient shaved for them. I guess that's a little weird!
ReplyDeleteAnd I always bring a pair of very clean socks, but wear flip flops in (in the summer time) to reduce the likelihood of stinkage.
I shave my arms in the summer because I think it makes them look toned and tanner.
Kids are disgusting